i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
