ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
