I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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