I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
