Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
we're so committed to being not committed
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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