She said her name was "party"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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