This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
