i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I had to cum in my sink.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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