i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There's always time for handjobs
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
