if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
