You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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