I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
