I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
