playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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