the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
