Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
