Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Boobs speak an international language.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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