I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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