I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
