you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I didn't notice because vodka
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
