He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize
