people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I am available for nakedness
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
