I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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