Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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