Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
