What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
