lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
