btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
