YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
where am i from again
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
