Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
