I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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