I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
