Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
