she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
