i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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