oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize