he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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