honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
