If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
