Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
