So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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