no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
