He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
