are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
