my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize