i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
