your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
