Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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