you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
vagina is talking i cant
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
