she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
