At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We need to get me chipped asap
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
