I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I am one with the molecules
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
