If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
