You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
