I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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