I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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