I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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