were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
