He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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