I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
